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I think I haven't felt more capable of loving someone as much as I do right now.

I am no longer obsessed with being sad and interesting, I'm no longer constantly worried about loss, anger, envy or whatever-the-hell-I-created-with-my mind to make me trip with non-existent stones.

I'm no longer afraid of not being enough.

I'm fortunate to see him growing. I'm happy to observe changes in his hair, his beard, the way he talks. I like to document the way he looks every day. Even if it's just a bad hair day, a change in the weather, two more minutes in that meeting or maybe three hours talking about the sky, the roads, the plans and everything that will lead us to a delayed but unavoidable togetherness. I keep track methodically of literally everything- I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to lose this.

He is, on the other side, so many things at once.

He isn't half as dramatic as I am. He doesn't see patterns because there are no patterns. He usually just laughs and tries to stop me from thinking too much. He's not exactly expressive or as generous with words but he's generous with his patience. He is succinct, yes, but never fails to deliver the necessary. Sometimes, he will feel too much and hide. He's an universe, a tall kingdom, a sky full of stars, a constellation.

We are not balanced. I know there are many bases to cover.

There are many promises that haven't happened. Not to place the blame on either, but on the mistakes that happen because of too much experience or for the lack of it. There are insecurities, consequences of thinking too much and for lack of thought. There is love that is taken for granted but there is also the intention of exploring day by day, the intricacies of a life together.

We know that there is no such thing as forever.

We know that the color of his hair won't be the same all the time, that I sometimes scare him because I'm impatient. I understand that 14 years are nothing and at the same, too much. I know that it is scary to love again and to crave for something beyond the way we look. I know that there are a million things I haven't done and then a million more he hasn't either. But loving him, with my 23 years, has been an experience and a whole new morning of emotions.

I know that loving him has made me the brightest star in his constellation.

And that is a way to last forever.